Football Jokes & Quotes Tips

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10 Inspiring Football Quotes

1. “Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it.” –George Halas

2. “In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are." –Arnold H. Glasow

3. “The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.” –Lewis Grizzard

4. “Football is like life—it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.” –Vince Lombardi

5. “Football doesn’t build character. It eliminates the weak ones.” –Darrell Royal

6. “Football is an art, like dancing is an art—but only when it’s done well does it become an art.” –Arsene Wenger

7. “In football, like in life, you must learn to play within the rules of the game.” –Hayden Fry

8. “A lot of football success is in the mind. You must believe you are the best and then make sure that you are.” –Bill Shankly

9. “Your talent determines what you can do. Your motivation determines how much you are willing to do. Your attitude determines how well you do it.” –Lou Holtz

10. “For sportsmen or women who want to be champions, the mind can be as important, if not more important, than any other part of the body.” –Gary Neville


Ten Football Jokes You Won't Want to Pass On

1. Q: What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

A: Hey, give me my quarter back!

2. Q: Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football?

A: The wide receiver.

3. Q: Why do coaches like punters?

A: Because punters always put their best foot forward.

4. Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?

A: Because she ran away from the ball.

5. Why was it hot after the football game?

A: Because all the fans were gone.

6. Q: What tea do footballer players drink?

A: Penal-tea.

7. Q: Where do football players dance?

A. At the foot ball.

8. Q: What do football players eat their soup out of?

A: Super bowls.

9. Q: What did the football say to the kicker?

A: I get a kick out of you.

10. By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over.

"Why are you so late?" his friend asked.

"I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game."

"How long could that have taken you?"

"Well, I had to toss it 14 times…"

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Jerry Mayo